When is it time to give up?

Today I’m making a decision. Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Something that could make a big impact on my writing life.

I’m giving up. That’s right…I’m letting go. It’s way past time. I’ve read countless books on writing. I’ve read the blogs and spoken with other writers. And I’ve heard it all. “Don’t give in,” they say. “It’s resistance or procrastination. It’s that dark demon inside trying to make you fail.”

Let me back up and give you some background. At the beginning of 2010, I fast drafted more than half of my WIP “She’s Going Home.” I did well and surpassed my goal for the month in less than 2 weeks. I kept going and thought I had a decent first draft. Then I looked for critiques. I didn’t realize I wasn’t ready yet for it. Lesson 1 – Write first. Finish first. Then search out critiques. 

So here I am…writing along and I get the most awesome of mentors. A writer that writes like I want to write. She’s funny and smart and she gets my life. She has children and understands the challenges that come along, like moving and hospital visits (April 2010). A voluntary evacuation from our home had not been in my plans. My sons and I left our home of the past three years to visit family for six weeks. It sounded doable. My husband would stay behind in an unstable security situation, pack up our house, take care of our dog while I ENJOYED a break with family.

That’s when the hospital visits hit for my 3-year-old and my 90-year-old grandfather. There was also the challenge of being strong and keeping my patience with my little boys that couldn’t understand why we were leaving home without daddy. But I’ll tell you this. I kept writing.  My WIP was a source of pride. I wrote and then I rewrote and then I wrote some more.  I kept the story alive in my mind and in my fingertips.

But then I stopped.

I stopped because we were evacuated again from our new assignment. I stopped because my children needed me every second of every waking moment and when they were sleeping, I was too exhausted to think…never mind write. I stopped because I was pregnant and sick and then sick again. There would be time to write later, I told myself.

My baby girl was born almost six weeks ago. Each day, I’ve opened up my WIP and attempted to read and edit it. I’ve come to a few more conclusions. Lesson 2 – Life will get in the way. Yes, you can tell yourself to write everyday. You can set yourself up with time but you have to be forgiving of yourself too. Some obstacles will derail you.

So I’m shutting ‘er down. I haven’t decided if I’m going to start something new or return to a WIP that I had only just begun. Lesson 3- It’s a writer’s prerogative. Either way, I’m on the hunt for writing magic. Something to get me excited again. A story that will make my fingers fly over the keyboard and my mind locked down to distractions.

Ready, Set, WRITE!

Goals: Everyone Else is Doing It

So it's a new year and everyone seems to be in the same mindset. This year is the year we get organized, write that novel, get a new job, stay in touch with friends or family, lose weight, and get healthy. This is our year. Last year is over and "Thank goodness, no one wants to relive it." I like goals. I like setting them and I like measuring my progress along the way. Whether it's the start of a new year or merely a new day, I find the idea that the future is ahead exhilarating.

Last year, I was knocked down a few times. Plans were made to be broken....over and over and over. A year ago, I thought this year would find us still living in Mexico. My sons would be in school full time, or at least mostly. I had no idea I would be pregnant with our third child, even if I had hoped to be. I certainly had no idea that 2010 would hand me my butt more than a few times. There were abrupt moves from one country to another, twice. There was an emergency room visit. More than two months of separation from my husband and then the weeks spent living out of luggage. I found myself exhausted, too tired to stick to writing goals, with two little boys that needed their mommy more than I needed to write. On the positive side, we landed exactly where we've always wanted to be...back in New England, on the coast, only a minute's walk from the ocean, in our very own home. I have a beautiful office, set up perfectly for my writing habits, with loads of inspiration and comfort to feed my writer-ly soul.

Now 2010 is behind us but looking back on my goals for the year, I'll be honest and say that I didn't reach more than half of them. It wasn't from the lack of trying and it certainly wasn't because I had lost sight of my priorities. Instead it was from realizing my priorities and giving myself the grace and forgiveness to move on. So this year is a new year, full of promise and excitement. Goals will be made (like blogging more) but still there is time to reflect on the year that has past, with all of it's lessons and accomplishments, disappointments and surprises. I've been working out my goals for the year but still I know, being flexible and open to new lessons may be the biggest goals of all.

Not Missing Out on NaNoWriMo

Last year I embarked on a huge life change. I began to write fiction and it all began on November 1, with the start of National Novel Writing Month. It was an incredible few weeks. I discovered that writing romance infused me with a sense of purpose. I felt recharged and confident in myself. In a way I hadn't in years. I finished my 50,000 word draft before Thanksgiving and I spent the rest of the month basking in these words. "I'm a writer. I wrote a novel."

Since last year, I've learned more about the writing craft. I've taken courses on editing, met a supportive and talented group of writers online, and even worked with a mentor. Life has been chaotic, slightly off-kilter since March but I was sure I could participate in NaNoWriMo this year. After all, if I had participated and won on my first try, what could stop me this time. Apparently life could. This pregnancy hasn't been easy. I've been sick, running two houses has been difficult as we prepare for the move to our new home, and then there are the two monkeys running around my house.

Still I endeavored to begin and found myself with a respectable 23,000 words and the foundation for a decent category length novel. The characters are clear in my mind. I like them and I like the way the plot is fleshing out. Next year, I'll have a first grader, a 4 year old, and an 8 month old in November. Will I plan on participating in NaNoWriMo next year?

Yup!

Moving Again

or Why Isabelle has been missing in action…
In March, my sons and I left our home for the past three years to spend a few weeks with family. My husband stayed behind, working and getting our belongings ready for the move from one post to another. When he joined us, we spent a few more weeks with him in Virginia for training and then more time traveling between our families. After several months of living out of luggage and always living in someone else’s space, we were excited to finally land in our new assignment, Monterrey, Mexico.
It should have been the beginning of a rocky settling in period. First, we needed to acclimate to living in a new city, with new people. Second, we would be spending our first month or more in a hotel without our things and without a real kitchen. The first big bump happened only two weeks in when my husband left for a business trip to Bucharest. The second big bump occurred less than 24 hours after his return when the violence so prevalent in Mexico came too close to my son’s school. The US government decided to send out all children of diplomatic families and that left us scrambling to plan our future.
Fast forward several weeks and I’m back to living with my family. My husband is left behind for another few weeks, working and getting our belongings ready for shipping. We’re not precisely sure when he’ll be back. We do know that we’ll be making our home for the next two years in New England. Now starts another series of adventures. We’re looking to purchase our first home, getting ready to finally have all of our belongings in one spot (furniture has been stored for the past three years), and expecting our third child in only a few months.
This is all why blogging here has been a little spotty. The future looks bright and I’m hoping to share much of it here along with my writing adventures.